Our Old Roommate -- We Hardly Knew Ye

Our poor, hapless former roommate. We had but a scant few weeks to get to know you. Yes, much of our relationship was soured due to some epic miscommunication. It's true, there was some hostility after that, probably on both sides.

Ah well, it's all over now. Like the Browns leaving Cleveland for greener pastures in Baltimore (that's like saying you'd rather eat the chicken's liver than the pancreas), you found it necessary to pack all your belongings up in the middle of the night and skip out. No note, no goodbye, no good luck in all your future endeavors. No, you chose the fly-by-night option. That's cool, we're not judging you. We're actually a little sad to see you go. We had some good times while you were here; we shared some laughs, drank some beers, talked about whatever.

We do have a couple questions though. What was the greasy stuff on the wall at the head of the bed? We can only assume it was hair grease, but one never knows in these situations. It didn't seem like you were a frequent visitor to the shower, so we can only speculate. Also, why did you find it necessary to leave the cigarettes burning in the window sill? Maybe it's just us, but we tend to have a modicum of respect for other people's belongings, especially brand new windows. And it was cool that you duck-taped the door shut and put a piece of cloth under the door while you smoked to evade our no-smoking rule, but couldn't you have at least picked off the duck-tape residue after you were finished? I'm just sayin'..

So goodbye, former roommate, off in the night wherever you may be! It was unfortunate that we hardly got to know ye!